we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
