I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Congratulations! We have a period
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Panties = found
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