3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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