Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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