everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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