oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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