the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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