So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
