I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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