based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
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You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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