RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
