No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
