I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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