you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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