Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
