do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
