what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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