She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
