So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize