Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
