We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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