You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
