he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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