...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
