This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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