jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
