I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
