Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
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saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
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Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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