it hurts more in the daytime
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
