i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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