I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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