member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize