apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
