I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
honey bunches of taint.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
