need another drink. this is the easiest way
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
