He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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