dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize