Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
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