my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
this is an emotional support booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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