Where did you get a picture of my penis
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
