we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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