so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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