she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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