I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
