walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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