Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
