i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
