We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Watching her eat just hurts me
He better not be in your backpack
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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