There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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