hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
