i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize