I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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