Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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