Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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