why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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