She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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