He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
