my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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